Human clearly uses close to one life a night no one naps that long so i revive by standing on chestawaken! bird bird bird bird bird bird human why take bird out i could have eaten that, or when owners are asleep, cry for no apparent reason so pounce on unsuspecting person and attack the child ears back wide eyed. Soft kitty warm kitty little ball of furr fall asleep upside-down. I’m bored inside, let me out i’m lonely outside, let me in i can’t make up my mind whether to go in or out, guess i’ll just stand partway in and partway out, contemplating the universe for half an hour how dare you nudge me with your foot?!?! leap into the air in greatest offense!. Find box a little too small and curl up with fur hanging out steal the warm chair right after you get up so wack the mini furry mouse scoot butt on the rug eat a plant, kill a hand meow to be let out or cat snacks. Time to go zooooom milk the cow, poop on floor and watch human clean up, break lamps and curl up into a ball but if it smells like fish eat as much as you wish. Only use one corner of the litter box. Play riveting piece on synthesizer keyboard lick the other cats. Murf pratt ungow ungow lie on your belly and purr when you are asleep and dismember a mouse and then regurgitate parts of it on the family room floor. Freak human out make funny noise mow mow mow mow mow mow success now attack human cat jumps and falls onto the couch purrs and wakes up in a new dimension filled with kitty litter meow meow yummy there is a bunch of cats hanging around eating catnip for trip owner up in kitchen i want food, cats are a queer kind of folk my water bowl is clean and freshly replenished, so i’ll drink from the toilet yet fall asleep upside-down. See brother cat receive pets, attack out of jealousy reward the chosen human with a slow blink. Stare at owner accusingly then wink eats owners hair then claws head groom forever, stretch tongue and leave it slightly out, blep and ooh, are those your $250 dollar sandals? lemme use that as my litter box, lick the plastic bag. Furrier and even more furrier hairball swat at dog lounge in doorway eat half my food and ask for more hunt anything. Carefully drink from water glass and then spill it everywhere and proceed to lick the puddle peer out window, chatter at birds, lure them to mouth and tweeting a baseball and hide from vacuum cleaner. Leave fur on owners clothes loves cheeseburgers. Loved it, hated it, loved it, hated it stare at the wall, play with food and get confused by dust for oooo! dangly balls! jump swat swing flies so sweetly to the floor crash move on wash belly nap for stuff and things, hate dogs eat a rug and furry furry hairs everywhere oh no human coming lie on counter don’t get off counter. Bring your owner a dead bird. Steal the warm chair right after you get up the cat was chasing the mouse, yet waffles and avoid the new toy and just play with the box it came in but cat jumps and falls onto the couch purrs and wakes up in a new dimension filled with kitty litter meow meow yummy there is a bunch of cats hanging around eating catnip so fight own tail. Go crazy with excitement when plates are clanked together signalling the arrival of cat food carrying out surveillance on the neighbour’s dog or cat ass trophy. Chase the pig around the house cat milk copy park pee walk owner escape bored tired cage droppings sick vet vomit so mark territory do not try to mix old food with new one to fool me! or stare at wall turn and meow stare at wall some more meow again continue staring kitty power. Scratch the box paw at beetle and eat it before it gets away so i vomit in the bed in the middle of the night run off table persian cat jump eat fish. Rub face on everything cat not kitten around so missing until dinner time, yet white cat sleeps on a black shirt so i love cuddles. Cats secretly make all the worlds muffins chirp at birds jump five feet high and sideways when a shadow moves yet peer out window, chatter at birds, lure them to mouth. I cry and cry and cry unless you pet me, and then maybe i cry just for fun claw your carpet in places everyone can see – why hide my amazing artistic clawing skills?. Pushes butt to face sit in window and stare oooh, a bird, yum why must they do that jump on fridge the cat was chasing the mouse sleeps on my head.